Unless You’re Brown, ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is Not Yours to Criticize

The show, which has generated a lot of buzz online, follows Sima Taparia, a high-profile matchmaker from Mumbai who sets couples up with prospective matches. While the show has triggered a debate on sexism, colourism and racism, it has managed to throw the spotlight on the age-old Indian custom of arranged marriage. Over the last two decades, several Bollywood films and reality TV shows have explored the concept of arranged marriages in their own way and have done justice to the theme. The show is about the central figure, Aneela Rahman, a Glasgow based British-Asian marriage arranger, who gets her family and friends to network together and find the perfect partner for the contestants in a four-week period. The episodes end with updates on how the matches are or not getting on. The show lasted only one season and had five episodes. Dimpy from Kolkata went on to win the show and married Mahajan in a televised ceremony. The two, however, split next year and filed for divorce soon after. Are arranged marriages doomed from the start and bound to end in divorce? Or is there some hope for the age-old marriage union that can make modern romance work?

The evolution of marriage, from strictly arranged to semi-arranged

Reading it reminded him of a period in my life, my mids, when we were searching for a groom for me. I am a South Indian who grew up in Mumbai. But of course, I had to track it down.

Not Just ‘Indian Matchmaking‘, These 7 Reality Shows & Films Celebrate Arranged Marriages. ET Online|. Updated: 22 Jul , PM IST. Matchmakers’.

This book is an extensive and thorough exploration of the ways in which the middle class in India select their spouse. Using the prism of matchmaking, this book critically unpacks the concept of the ‘modern’ and traces the importance of moralities and values in the making of middle class identities, by bringing to the fore intersections and dynamics of caste, class, gender, and neoliberalism. The author discusses a range of issues: romantic relationships among youth, use of online technology and of professional services like matrimonial agencies and detective agencies, encounters of love and heartbreak, impact of experiences of pain and humiliation on spouse-selection, and the involvement of family in matchmaking.

Based on this comprehensive account, she elucidates how the categories of ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ marriages fall short of explaining, in its entirety and essence, the contemporary process of spouse-selection in urban India. Though the ethnographic research has been conducted in India, this book is of relevance to social scientists studying matchmaking practices, youth cultures, modernity and the middle class in other societies, particularly in parts of Asia.

While being based on thorough scholarship, the book is written in accessible language to appeal to a larger audience. Jindal Global University, India. She was also a Visiting Scholar at St. Only valid for books with an ebook version. Springer Reference Works and instructor copies are not included. JavaScript is currently disabled, this site works much better if you enable JavaScript in your browser.

Netflix show on India’s arranged marriages triggers online debate

I was on the phone with my mother, who lives in Pune, India, complaining about Indian Matchmaking , when she brought up the marriage proposal. I knew she agreed. I scoffed. But watch Indian Matchmaking , and you may end the eight-episode arc of the smartly edited, highly bingeable show with a misleading idea of how arranged marriages actually work.

Online vs offline matchmaking. Matrimonial websites may have eased the process of surfing through a range of potential matches, beyond caste.

Despite it focusing on a practice that could be seen as archaic and almost out of place in , it was a hit among people of all ages, backgrounds and nationalities. For those who had never heard of biodatas, star charts and the very concept of arranged marriage, it was maybe a morbid curiosity that got them deeply involved in the exploits of matchmaker Sima Taparia from Mumbai. The quest of its participants to find everlasting love amid the constraints of culture was played out for everyone to see, judge and make memes about.

But this is a reality that many young people face in India and other South Asian countries, where family comes first, second and third. So, does old school matchmaking still work? Can it be used to find true love? Does it have a place in our world today?

Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking” Tells Women to Compromise. I Refused to Do That.

The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.

Indian Matchmaking Trailer: Desi Arranged Marriages in New Netflix Series Is Red Dead Online’s Gun Rush more than PUBG or Fortnite with cowboys and.

I was in the middle of an editorial meeting at the newspaper I worked for in when it came out of nowhere: an overwhelming sense of fear, the trembling hands, the absolute certainty that my heart was going to burst out of my chest. It would be years before I understood that what I had experienced that day — and would on three subsequent occasions — was a panic attack.

I was 24, and just two hours before, my parents had called to ask me to be home on time that night. I had no intention of watching it. I had been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt and made a bonfire from it. It is a practice that is followed in several Middle Eastern countries, Japan and Turkey, among others. They all came recommended through friends and family, that larger collective that works very hard to bring together not two individuals but two families — mirror images of one another, both wearing a thick cloak of respectability going back generations — into a union, under the guise of pragmatism, that promotes caste and economic hegemony.

Vyasar, as he worries throughout the show, would have indeed found the going very tough. What did I mean I was uncomfortable with the questions he asked? I should give him the benefit of doubt: marriage is a compromise.

Matrix of arranged marriage

These men and women — or boys and girls, as they are referred to in Indian society, perhaps to reinforce their youth and innocence — of Indian origin are in their 20s and 30s, living in India and the US. Credit: Netflix. Indian Matchmaking just takes this concept further. Of course, each of these comes with their own good, bad and ugly. I think the entire experience felt like going on a journey with no idea as to what could turn up next.

Overall Indian matchmaking is yet another reminder that when it comes to arranged marriages, preferences are really a0 sham. (Photo: Netflix).

I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show. While the show portrays arranged marriages in a positive although at times, vulnerable light, it simultaneously showcases the problems plaguing the ancient tradition—problems that Netflix account holders across America were quick to point out.

The casual, rampant racism on IndianMatchmaking is wild, and I fear fair will fly right over the heads of all the white people watching.

What makes a show like ‘Indian Matchmaking’ possible? This book examines marriage in India

Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Taparia free rein to reinforce regressive methods of Indian matchmaking as undeniable fact. During the episode, Basra explained to Justin how she might have rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her. How could I ever trust you? How could anyone ever trust you?

As arranged marriages, inextricably woven into India’s societal fabric, ”It is an online matchmaking service for those seeking a meaningful.

The eight-part series – Indian Matchmaking premiered on Netflix on Thursday and is currently among its top ranked India shows The show is created by Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra. A new Netflix show about an Indian matchmaker catering to the high demands of potential brides and grooms, and their parents, has stoked an online debate about arranged marriages in the country. The eight-part series “Indian Matchmaking” premiered on Netflix on Thursday and is currently among its top ranked India shows.

It features Sima Taparia, a real-life matchmaker from Mumbai, who offers her services to families within India and abroad. Arranged marriages in India see parents leading efforts to find a suitable match for their children. The show has become a subject of memes and jokes, and criticism, on how individuals and their parents are picky and have a long list of demands that centre around factors like caste, height or skin colour. The show “makes very clear how regressive Indian communities can be.

Where sexism, casteism, and classism are a prevalent part of the process of finding a life partner,” wrote Twitter user Maunika Gowardhan. Thousands of Twitter and Instagram posts echo that view. Created by Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra, the show focuses on matchmaker Taparia’s visits to the homes of families who need her assistance. So the parents guide their children,” Taparia says at one point in the show, referring to some of her wealthier clients. In the first episode titled “Slim, Trim and Educated”, an Indian mother tells Taparia her son is getting a lot of marriage proposals but in most cases the prospective bride’s education or height was not ideal.

Just as Taparia says: “So you want a smart, outgoing, height

Websites in India Put a Bit of Choice Into Arranged Marriages

Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.

In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride. Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way.

Though these families use a matchmaker, the matching process is one the entire community and culture is invested in.

The buzz — and some online fury — generated by the matchmaker series The concept of arranged marriages — essentially pre-vetted dating.

Follow Us. We go behind the scenes of the Netflix show that has taken over our Instagram feeds with the two women instrumental in bringing it to life. In her twenties, Indian-American filmmaker Smriti Mundhra vacillated between blueprinting the creative life she sought and a more conservative vision touted by her family. Her latest endeavour, Indian Matchmaking , is a brand-new Netflix series featuring Mumbai-based alliance consultant Sima Taparia and a clutch of happily-ever-after hopefuls, split between the US and India.

At first blush, viewers may suspect the eight-part reality series, which debuted worldwide on July 16, is the South Asian answer to Dating Around , another courtship-centric series from the streaming giant. But a closer look reveals that Indian Matchmaking , steered by the straight-shooting Taparia, is a nuanced portrayal of a practice in flux. Smriti Mundhra: It was Sima! She was my matchmaker back in the day.

Finding love in arranged marriages


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